Le Freak, C'est Chic

. . . to the end of the road

So i should be happier right now, no more arguments, worrying, stress, crying … but I’m not. I’m holding up well though, i sound all diplomatic and honest, where i make statements like: Yeah it’s the right thing for me to do or We couldnt have gone on the way we were, He stopped making me happy, but as true as all those statement were, i was always ready in the corner of my heart to take him back properly (when we were working things out) if he could be the person i wanted to be with in the first place again, and not this innocent in front of my friends, uptight in my company alone, and argumentative via the phone guy i ended up with.

Today we were gonna fix things. Today we were gonna answer my prayers for excitement and spontaneity, and go away just the two of us to somewhere random. We were gonna go to the train station and hand the ticket seller £20 and get a return to somewhere random. We were gonna have fun, relight the fire, nurture the spark, catalyse the chemistry … and then last night we argued. Argued over him meeting my best friend and turning up half an hour late, which i argued was his fault and he argued was my fault because i could have told her a realistic time that he would show up.

So after 45minutes of arguing this point … i said the fatal words: fuck off, fuck tomorrow and cut off. He text me saying: U 3, need to talk. To which i replied: No. Im sick of your shit. End of.

and we haven’t spoken to eachother since, which i feel is now the end, because we both said if things didn’t work out on this weekend away together, then we would end the relationship finally. We didn’t go away because of an argument, and so there is nothing else left to do.

Lesson i’ve learnt from this 11month relationship … . It’s not the big stuff that breaks relationships, it’s the small stuff that keeps biting your ankles everytime you try to walk.